5 Questions Your Boudoir Photographer Should Ask You Before Your Session
Are you preparing for your boudoir session and kind of freaking out? I get it! It’s vulnerable and intimate and you maybe haven’t ever done anything like this! First of all, I’m proud of you for being brave and expanding your comfort zone. There’s a reason this industry exists- it’s POWERFUL. If your photographer knows what they’re doing, you will leave that session feeling hotter than you ever have and you’ll be beaming with confidence! But before you get there, you need to set the stage for vulnerability. And that begins before you even step foot in a studio.
Here are the questions I would argue are some of the most important for you to feel hot, seen and safe with your photographer. And if they don’t ask you these, let me know and I’ll give them a stern talking to.
They ask for consent! For EVERYTHING. To fix your hair, to cut off the tags on your clothing, and even to compliment you! Especially that.
Why? Most of my clients giggle when I ask them if I can compliment them during the session. The most frequent response is, “Please bring the gas!” but I still always ask. I know one day I will get a client who is shy and they will want me to keep my thoughts to myself. I want them to have the space to feel they can request that. This is their experience after all! But it’s also information for those who want to be showered in compliments.
I do have to say, getting to tell my clients how amazing they look and being authentic with them is one of the greatest joys I experience. With that, I want my clients to know that the gas is part of the experience and process. I’m not coming on to them, I’m not trying to seduce them. I’m trying to co-create a container where they can safely feel seen and desirable in their body. They understand my motivations are to come with my genuine excitement about the light hitting them just right and witnessing them come into their power. I have found that the container helps create appropriate boundaries that are essential for this intimate experience.
2. What are your favorite parts about yourself?
This gives you the opportunity to show off the parts of you that you feel most confident about. You can have your ass on center stage, or have an artistic photo of your hips being kissed by sunlight. Having something to highlight can be a fun way to lean into being a bit more creative and get those shots that feel really like you, as opposed to just another boudoir pose. And why not flaunt it if you’ve got it?
3. On the flip side- the parts that you’re most self conscious about.
We all have em- that thing you’re looking for in photos of yourself, the thing you do not like to see. There’s no shame in that! We were taught to hate ourselves- and if you’ve managed to work past this- incredible! If not, maybe this session will help you get there.
This question isn’t helpful because we plan to hide these attributes. BUT we can use this information to reclaim the narrative you have about those parts. We can create images that make you feel like this part of you is art! One of my favorite client reactions while delivering an album was “I’ve never loved my belly this much!”.
5. What words do you want me to use (or not use) to describe your body? This is an ingredient of my special sauce that maybe not all boudoir photographers have in the pantry. During your session, it’s so important to me that I don’t give you the “ick”. This came to me when my cousin was once complaining that a guy she was seeing asked if she had a “tummy ache” and her response was “I’m an adult! I don’t have a tummy- I have a stomach”. And that stuck with me. I have usual go-tos such as “chest” and “booty” but I always ask if there’s words my clients would rather me use- if you’re empowered by the word “ass” let’s use it! If you hate the word “tits” it won’t be crossing my lips. It’s that simple.
I’m not going to speak about your body in a derogatory way but if the light is bouncing off your skin so perfectly, I want to tell you about it! And while I direct you, I want to use the words that you enjoy hearing! This question has inspired really great conversations with clients and I love getting to explore preferences with folks.
There are plenty of other questions and topics you should be covering in your consultation call with your boudoir photographer - this is just the start. When you’re signing up for a vulnerable experience, make sure the person who is facilitating your experience understands the gravity of your bravery and does not take it for granted. You deserve to feel safe and held during your session. That’s the bare minimum!
This also helps me see the things I would have never seen, as an objective third party observer who already thinks you’re hot. A client once told me they had a gap in their front teeth as a child and if their nose creates a shadow just right, it reminds them of that gap they didn’t like. That’s important information for me to have! The last thing I want to do is deliver you an album filled with photos of yourself that you don’t want to see.
4. Speaking of consent- you should have the ability to opt out of having your photos shared online. Full stop. If you’re required to sign a contract that states you have to give consent to share the images (model release) and that’s not what you want to do- don’t! These are intimate images and that is not a requirement of the boudoir experience.
Want to know the rest of my questions?
Let’s set up a consultation call!
